When it comes to prioritizing between a wife and child from a biblical perspective, there are important principles to consider. The Bible provides guidance on the order of priorities within a family, highlighting the significance of each relationship. By understanding these biblical teachings, we can navigate the delicate balance of prioritizing both our spouse and our children.
Key Takeaways:
- The Bible emphasizes the importance of prioritizing God above all else, including our spouse and children.
- Our spouse should come second in the order of priorities, only after our relationship with God.
- Putting our spouse first does not mean neglecting our children; it means recognizing the unique needs and roles within the family.
- Practical ways to put your spouse first include showing love, respect, and serving them in daily life.
- Prioritizing your spouse brings benefits such as a happy marriage, a lasting relationship, and glorifying God through your commitment.
- Biblical teachings emphasize the oneness of marriage and the importance of honoring and respecting one another.
The Bible emphasizes the significance of prioritizing one’s spouse in a marriage, highlighting the importance of a strong marital relationship.
When it comes to the order of priorities in a marriage, the Bible provides guidance on the importance of prioritizing one’s spouse. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This means that husbands should prioritize their wives, following the example of Christ’s love and sacrifice. Similarly, wives are encouraged to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:22), recognizing their role in honoring and supporting their spouse.
While some may argue that children should come first, the Bible does not directly state this. Instead, it emphasizes the significance of a strong marital relationship as the foundation for a healthy family. By prioritizing one’s spouse, couples can build a solid foundation of love, respect, and unity that positively impacts their children.
“A lot of people have a problem with that order. Some want to put their spouse before God, some want the kids before the spouse, some want God only when He is needed. Let’s take a look at how the home should be.” – Latoya Irving
Putting one’s spouse first does not mean neglecting or loving children any less. It simply means recognizing the unique importance of the marriage relationship and actively investing in it. Just as a child’s safety, comfort, and love are essential, so are the needs of a spouse. Prioritizing one’s spouse involves finding a healthy balance between meeting the needs of the children and nurturing the marital bond.
What does it mean to put your spouse first?
Putting your spouse first means making them a priority in your daily life and decision-making. It involves showing love, respect, and support for your partner in practical ways. For example, serving your spouse first at mealtime can be a simple gesture that demonstrates your love and commitment. It also means setting boundaries so that children do not interrupt your conversations with your spouse, allowing for quality time together.
Here are 20 ways to put your spouse first:
| Ways to Put Your Spouse First |
|---|
| Use nap time as “me” time, so once the kids go to bed, you can spend time with your spouse |
| Place boundaries on kid activities, so there’s breathing room to enjoy with your spouse |
| Serve your spouse first at mealtime |
| When your child tries to pit you against your spouse, pick your spouse’s side |
| Place boundaries so children don’t interrupt conversations with your spouse |
| Listen to your husband’s preferences and care about them |
| If he’s a coffee drinker, make him coffee in the morning |
| If he has a busy schedule, pack his lunch |
| Show displays of affection like hugs, holding hands, kisses, etc… often |
| Text/flirt throughout the day |
| Make your bedroom a no-kids zone—explain to the kids that it’s “your space” |
| Say “I love you” in front of the kids, daily |
| Never leave without a kiss or goodbye |
| Ask and value his opinion on matters of the home |
| Plan your week together (meals, appointments, etc…) |
| Devote time away without kids |
| Prioritizing date nights or day dates |
| If mealtimes together are impossible, sit down while he eats his supper |
| Care/show interest in his dreams, passions, and/or career |
| Pray for him |
Prioritizing your spouse not only benefits the marriage but also has positive effects on the whole family. It educates children about a healthy, godly marriage and teaches them that they are not the center of the universe. It fosters a happy marriage, building a strong foundation that can endure the challenges of life. Ultimately, prioritizing your spouse glorifies God, as it reflects the love and sacrificial commitment demonstrated by Christ’s love for the church.
The biblical perspective highlights the importance of the marriage relationship and the need to prioritize one’s spouse. By following biblical principles, couples can create a harmonious and loving home that glorifies God and nurtures both the marriage and the family. By placing God first, then prioritizing the spouse, children, and other family relationships, couples can cultivate a strong marital bond that stands the test of time.
The Proper Order of Priorities According to Scripture
To understand the biblical perspective on prioritizing between a wife and child, it’s crucial to examine the proper order of priorities according to scripture. While the Bible does not provide a step-by-step guide, it does offer general principles for prioritizing family relationships. Let’s explore the biblical order of priorities:
1. God: The First and Foremost Priority
The Bible is clear that our first priority should always be God. In Deuteronomy 6:5, we are commanded to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength. God deserves our complete devotion and worship. Attending church regularly and being actively involved in our faith community are ways to demonstrate that God comes first in our lives.
2. Spouse: Second Only to God
After God, our spouse should be our next priority. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Likewise, wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). By prioritizing our spouse, we honor the marital unity and strength that God intended for us.
3. Children: Nurturing and Raising Them in a Godly Way
Following our spouse, our children should be a priority. Proverbs 22:6 teaches us to raise our children in the ways of the Lord so that they may continue to walk in His ways. As parents, we are responsible for teaching them the importance of loving and worshiping God, instilling values, and providing guidance. It is crucial to demonstrate a united front as parents, whether natural or step-parents, and not allow our children to manipulate our relationships.
4. Parents and Extended Family: Showing Honor and Respect
As adults, we are called to honor our parents (Deuteronomy 5:16). While obedience is not required once we reach adulthood, honoring our parents is an ongoing duty. This includes showing respect, care, and gratitude for the role they played in our lives. Additionally, we should maintain healthy relationships with our extended family, supporting and caring for them as needed (1 Timothy 5:8).
5. Fellow Believers: Building Strong Christian Community
Our fellow believers hold a significant place in our priorities. Romans 14 teaches us not to judge or cause others to stumble in their faith. We are called to serve, encourage, and support one another as members of the body of Christ (Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 4:32, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24).
6. The Rest of the World: Sharing the Gospel
Finally, we should consider our responsibility to the rest of the world. Matthew 28:19 commands us to go and make disciples of all nations, sharing the good news of Christ’s love and salvation. By reaching out to others and fulfilling the great commission, we glorify God and expand His kingdom.
While there may be moments when we must temporarily focus on one relationship over another, the goal is to maintain a balance that does not neglect any of our obligations. By allowing God to empower us, we can fulfill our priorities inside and outside of our families.
| Biblical Order of Priorities |
|---|
| 1. God |
| 2. Spouse |
| 3. Children |
| 4. Parents and Extended Family |
| 5. Fellow Believers |
| 6. The Rest of the World |
“To understand the biblical perspective on prioritizing between a wife and child, it’s crucial to examine the proper order of priorities according to scripture.”
Practical Ways to Put Your Spouse First
Putting your spouse first involves intentional actions and choices that prioritize the marital relationship, and there are several practical ways to do so. By implementing these strategies, you can strengthen your bond with your spouse and create a solid foundation for a fulfilling marriage.
1. Use nap time as “me” time, so once the kids go to bed, you can spend time with your spouse
Take advantage of your child’s nap time to carve out time for yourself. This will allow you to recharge and be fully present with your spouse when the kids are asleep. By prioritizing your own needs, you will have more energy and attention to give to your spouse.
2. Place boundaries on kid activities, so there’s breathing room to enjoy with your spouse
Set boundaries on your children’s activities to ensure that you have dedicated time to spend with your spouse. This may involve limiting extracurricular activities or scheduling specific times for family bonding. By creating space for your marriage, you can strengthen your connection with your spouse.
3. Serve your spouse first at mealtime
At mealtime, make it a habit to serve your spouse first. This small gesture shows your love and respect for them, and it communicates that they are a priority in your life. It sets a positive tone for the meal and reinforces the importance of your marital relationship.
4. Apply boundaries so children don’t interrupt conversations with your spouse
Establish clear boundaries with your children regarding interrupting conversations with your spouse. Teach them the importance of respecting your time together and encourage them to wait patiently when you are speaking with each other. This demonstrates that your marriage deserves uninterrupted attention and fosters a sense of mutual respect within the family.
5. Listen to your husband’s preferences and care about them
Show genuine interest in your husband’s preferences and actively listen to his thoughts and opinions. This demonstrates that you value his perspective and prioritize his happiness. By incorporating his preferences into your shared experiences, you strengthen the bond between you and create a sense of partnership.
6. Show displays of affection like hugs, holding hands, kisses, etc… often
Physical affection is an important aspect of nurturing your marital relationship. Regularly express your love for your spouse through hugs, holding hands, kisses, and other forms of physical touch. These small gestures go a long way in maintaining intimacy and connection.
7. Text/flirt throughout the day
Keep the spark alive in your marriage by sending flirty texts or messages throughout the day. This playful interaction reminds your spouse that you are thinking of them and keeps the romance alive, even in the midst of busy schedules.
8. Make your bedroom a no-kids zone-explain to the kids that it’s “your space”
Designate your bedroom as a no-kids zone and explain to your children that it is a space reserved for you and your spouse. This creates a private sanctuary where you can focus on each other and enjoy uninterrupted quality time. It also teaches your children the importance of boundaries and respect within a marriage.
9. Say “I love you,” in front of the kids, daily
Make it a habit to express your love for your spouse in front of your children on a daily basis. This not only reinforces your commitment to each other but also models a loving and healthy relationship for your children. It helps them understand the importance of love and affection within a family.
10. Never leave without a kiss or goodbye
Prioritize saying goodbye to your spouse with a kiss and words of affection before leaving the house. This simple yet meaningful gesture sets a positive tone for the day and reinforces your connection as a couple. It is a small action that can have a big impact on the overall health of your marriage.
11. Ask and value his opinion on matters of the home
Involve your spouse in decision-making processes related to your home and family. Seek his input and value his opinion. This demonstrates that you respect his judgment and consider him an equal partner in building a harmonious household. It fosters a sense of unity and collaboration within your marriage.
12. Plan your week together (meals, appointments, etc…)
Take the time to sit down with your spouse and plan out your week together. This includes coordinating meals, appointments, and other important events. By actively involving your spouse in the planning process, you demonstrate that their schedule and needs are a priority. It also helps you both stay organized and reduce stress.
13. Devote time away without kids
Make it a priority to spend quality time away from the kids on a regular basis. Schedule date nights or plan outings that allow you to reconnect and focus solely on each other. This dedicated time for just the two of you strengthens your bond and reminds you of the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
14. Prioritizing date nights or day dates
Regularly schedule date nights or day dates with your spouse. These intentional times of connection and fun help you maintain a strong emotional and physical bond. Whether it’s going out for dinner, watching a movie, or simply taking a walk together, prioritizing these date moments reinforces the importance of your relationship.
15. If mealtimes together are impossible, sit down while he eats his supper
If scheduling meals together as a family is challenging, make an effort to sit down with your spouse while he eats his supper. This allows you to have a few moments of connection and conversation, even if it’s not a full family meal. It shows your spouse that you prioritize spending quality time together, even in small increments.
16. Care/show interest in his dreams, passions, and/or career
Take an active interest in your spouse’s dreams, passions, and career. Show genuine care and support for their goals and aspirations. By demonstrating that their fulfillment and success matter to you, you reinforce the idea that you are a team and are invested in each other’s happiness.
17. Pray for him
Prayer is a powerful way to demonstrate your love and support for your spouse. Take time to pray for your husband, lifting up his needs, challenges, and goals to God. This act of intercession shows that you are committed to his well-being and strengthens the spiritual bond between you.
Benefits of Putting Your Spouse First
Educates your child. Putting your spouse first teaches your children a good example of a godly marriage. It highlights that having kids does not destroy a marriage but can amplify it, and it exemplifies the biblical idea of “one flesh” and how to lay down our lives for the sake of another. It also ensures your kids know they are not the center of the universe. Nobody wants obnoxious kids.
Fosters a Happy Marriage. Although a happy marriage shouldn’t be the primary goal, prioritizing your spouse cultivates your relationship. One day, your children will leave you, but your spouse should be “til death do us part.”
Marriage that lasts a lifetime. The time you invest in your marriage will be reaped even after the kids leave the nest. A marriage that lasts a lifetime does not wait for kids to leave home. It is cultivated from the very beginning.
Glorifies God. Putting your spouse first in line with biblical principles allows you to honor and glorify God in your marriage. By prioritizing your spouse, you demonstrate selflessness, love, and commitment, reflecting the character of Christ in your relationship.
The Biblical Perspective on Prioritizing Wife and Child
Putting your spouse first is not only a practical approach to building a strong marriage but also aligns with biblical teachings. According to the Bible, God should be our ultimate priority, followed by our spouse, and then our children. By following this order, we create a foundation for a harmonious and fulfilling family life.
God’s design for marriage emphasizes the importance of the marital bond. From the beginning of creation, man and woman were created to be united as one flesh (Mark 10:6-9). This unity forms the basis for a strong and lasting marriage, where both partners prioritize and support each other.
In the Bible, we are also instructed to love and respect our spouses as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). This sacrificial love requires intentional actions and choices that prioritize our spouse’s well-being and happiness.
When we put our spouse first, we create a nurturing environment for our children. They learn from our example about the importance of love, selflessness, and commitment in a marriage. By prioritizing our spouse, we teach our children valuable lessons about healthy relationships and the biblical concept of “one flesh.”
In conclusion, prioritizing your spouse is not only beneficial for your marriage but also aligns with biblical teachings. By implementing practical ways to put your spouse first, you can strengthen your bond, create a happy and lasting marriage, and honor God’s design for family relationships.
The Benefits of Prioritizing Your Spouse
Prioritizing your spouse can lead to a happier and more fulfilled marriage, while also glorifying God and setting a godly example for your children. When we understand the biblical teachings on prioritizing our spouse, we can experience the following benefits:
- Educates your child: Putting your spouse first teaches your children a good example of a godly marriage. It highlights that having kids does not destroy a marriage but can amplify it, and it exemplifies the biblical idea of “one flesh” and how to lay down our lives for the sake of another. It also ensures your kids know they are not the center of the universe. Nobody wants obnoxious kids.
- Fosters a Happy Marriage: Although a happy marriage shouldn’t be the primary goal, prioritizing your spouse cultivates your relationship. One day, your children will leave you, but your spouse should be “til death do us part.”
- Marriage that lasts a lifetime: The time you invest in your marriage will be reaped even after the kids leave the nest. A marriage that lasts a lifetime does not wait for kids to leave home. It is cultivated from the very beginning.
- Glorifies God: As Francis Chan stated in his book “You and Me Forever”, “God created marriage to be a picture that displaces Christ to the world.” He also says that there is more at stake in our marriage than just our marriage – the Gospel is at stake. Any chance we get to lay down our life for another is an opportunity to glorify and honor God, and marriage is the perfect opportunity to do so.
The benefits of putting your spouse first go beyond just the immediate satisfaction and happiness in your marriage. It has a ripple effect on your children and glorifies God, aligning your family with biblical principles.
“God created marriage to be a picture that displaces Christ to the world.”
– Francis Chan
By prioritizing your spouse, you are demonstrating to your children the importance of a strong and loving marriage. They will learn that a godly marriage is built on selflessness, sacrifice, and mutual respect. This education will equip them to establish healthy relationships in their own lives, glorifying God through their marriages.
Living out the biblical teachings
Prioritizing your spouse not only benefits your own marriage and family, but it also serves as a witness to others. By following biblical teachings and putting your spouse first, you are living out the principles of love, respect, and submission as outlined in the Scriptures.
Mark 10:6-9 reminds us of the divine order of marriage, stating, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” By prioritizing your spouse, you demonstrate your commitment to the unity and strength of your marriage, reflecting the biblical design and purpose for marriage.
As you prioritize your spouse, you are also making a statement about your faith and trust in God’s guidance. You are acknowledging that God’s order should be the foundation of your marriage, and by doing so, you glorify Him through obedience and reverence.
When we prioritize our spouses, it leads to a more joyful and fulfilling marriage, strengthens our families, and ultimately brings honor and glory to God.
| Benefits of Prioritizing Your Spouse |
|---|
| Educates your child |
| Fosters a Happy Marriage |
| Marriage that lasts a lifetime |
| Glorifies God |
In conclusion, according to the Bible, prioritizing your spouse in a marriage is not only beneficial for the relationship but also aligns with God’s design for marriage and family dynamics.
When we look at biblical teachings, we see that God should always come first in our lives. He is the foundation of our faith and the source of guidance for our relationships. As stated in Deuteronomy 6:5, we are called to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and strength.
Following God, our spouse is given priority in a marriage. The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives are called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. This mutual respect and love for one another creates a solid foundation for a healthy and thriving marriage.
Of course, this does not mean that children are neglected or loved any less. As parents, we have a responsibility to care for and nurture our children. However, it is important to remember that our spouse should still hold a higher priority in our lives. This means that while there may be specific seasons where a child requires more attention, the overall focus should be on maintaining a strong and loving relationship with our spouse.
Putting your spouse first does not mean neglecting your child’s needs or allowing abuse of any kind. It means that when given a choice, your spouse should be the priority. This can be demonstrated in various practical ways, such as serving your spouse first at mealtime or setting boundaries to ensure uninterrupted quality time together.
By prioritizing your spouse, you not only strengthen your marriage but also provide a positive example for your children. They learn the value of a godly and loving relationship, and they understand that they are not the center of the universe. This teaches them important life lessons and helps shape their own future relationships.
A happy and lasting marriage is a testament to God’s love and grace. By prioritizing your spouse, you cultivate a relationship that can withstand the ups and downs of life. As your children grow up and leave the nest, your spouse remains your lifelong partner, and investing in your marriage from the beginning ensures a strong foundation for the future.
Ultimately, prioritizing your spouse and following biblical principles in your marriage is a way to glorify God. As Francis Chan wrote, marriage is a picture that displaces Christ to the world. It is an opportunity to lay down our lives for another and to honor God through our love and commitment.
In conclusion, according to the Bible, prioritizing your spouse in a marriage not only benefits the relationship but also aligns with God’s design for marriage and family dynamics. By following the biblical order of priorities – God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, fellow believers, and the rest of the world – we create a harmonious and loving environment that reflects God’s love and grace. So, let us strive to put our spouse first, glorify God, and enjoy the blessings of a thriving marriage.
FAQ
Q: Is it biblically correct to prioritize your spouse over your child?
A: According to biblical teachings, God should always be our first priority, followed by our spouse, and then our children. Prioritizing your spouse does not mean neglecting your child, but rather maintaining a healthy balance in the family.
Q: How can I prioritize my spouse while still meeting my child’s needs?
A: There may be specific seasons where your child requires more attention, such as infancy or illness. However, in general, you can prioritize your spouse by setting aside quality time for each other, showing affection, and actively listening and supporting each other.
Q: Does prioritizing my spouse mean neglecting my child’s well-being?
A: Absolutely not. Prioritizing your spouse does not mean neglecting your child or allowing any form of abuse. It means finding a healthy balance and ensuring that both your spouse and child’s needs are met with love, care, and attention.
Q: What are the benefits of putting your spouse first in a marriage?
A: Prioritizing your spouse can lead to a happy and lasting marriage, educates your children about healthy relationships, and glorifies God by following biblical teachings on love and sacrifice.
Q: What does the Bible say about the order of priorities in a family?
A: The Bible teaches that God should come first, followed by one’s spouse, then children, and then extended family and fellow believers. Honoring and loving parents is also emphasized, regardless of age.
Source Links
- https://www.afaithfulstep.com/blog/why-your-spouse-should-come-before-your-child
- https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/who-comes-first-in-your-marriage/
- https://www.gotquestions.org/family-priorities.html
