Something happened a couple years ago that unleashed an anxiety beast I’d never had to face before. I know some people have battled with stress, depression or anxiety for years and experiencing it, first hand, gave me new perspective.
God approaches us in different ways in different seasons. He’s been very kind and gentle, leading me to truth, and drawing me to repentance by His kindness. But sometimes He jolts me with a Snap out of it! reality check.
I don’t know about you, but at the root of much of my anxiety is either feeling responsiblity for something entirely outside of my control or zeroing in on something small, making it too big.
From my limited perspective, one reason God’s response to Job is so incredibly genius, is how He puts things into their appropriately sized categories.
“Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth? Declare, if you know all this.” (38:18)
One of the best feelings in the world is absolute trust. It’s a feeling of comfort when you don’t know, but someone else does and is answering. When you are weak, but someone else is strong, and has your best interest at heart. You don’t have to see the big picture, you don’t have to have all the answers. You can leave it to them.
Chapter 38 is a big reminder that we are small, but He is big and trustworthy. He’s handing things like ocean tides, sunrises, sunsets, the weather and feeding all the wild animals, even when it hadn’t crossed our minds to worry about it!
So when I suddenly am overwhelmed, but have the wherewithal to pray, He’s like, “already gotcha covered.” Which means it doesn’t even depend on my remembering to pray! (Prayer does make a difference, but I think more often than not, the best difference is remembering Who is in control).
This season has been been marked by a gradual healing from this anxiety. Sometimes really small, stupid things (like booking bus tickets online) can trigger a stress spiral, but thank God, He has surrounded me with friends who remind me of size.
We’ve waded through many different kinds of bad/unhelpful/incomplete advice in these 37 chapters. I am glad today is the day we remember how big God is and how small we are. Especially when He makes it so beautifully safe for us to be small. He is in control and trustworthy.