“Why is your lover better than all others,
O woman of rare beauty?
What makes your lover so special
that we must promise this?” (5:9)
I laughed when I read this. Isn’t it so true? When you are tightly tangled by love’s grip, you think your person is The Person. Better than others, more attractive, less mistakes or flaws and overall just wonderful and lovely and they’re the best.
This is a gift, during the beginning stage of a relationship. It exists in almost every interpersonal relationship, and it makes it fun. “I love my new boss!” “I love my new roommate!” “I love my new church!” But then reality tends to set in and their mistakes glow. I vacillate easily between adoring and resenting someone; its a huge area of growth that I’ve been working on. It’s not that I’m not loyal (eventually), it’s that I look through an unrealistic lens when I’m getting to know someone. I set them up for failure. Propping them up on such a high pedestal only gives them further to fall, which they will.
The verse above reminded me this morning to hold a realistic expectation of someone. It’s exciting to be in a new relationship, platonic or romantic. But I need to approach it with grace, allowing them to be a person in process. I love meeting new people and making new friends, and I pray that I do this with a godly, realistic lens that soaks our future friendship in grace and understanding.